Dad number 1 and Dad number 2.

Father’s Day has just passed and in my Facebook group there was a post:

"Well, it's Father’s Day and just got from my 4-year-old "you're not my dad (Other Parent’s partner) is my dad". Haven't heard this for 6 months while visits have been ongoing and suddenly on Father’s Day my 4-year-old comes up with this again. …"

I asked Chat GPT5 to Think Deeply about the following:

Question: Is Dad number 2 a privilege, not a right, a privilege bestowed by Dad number 1?

It gave me a 15-page answer with this conclusion:

Conclusion: Is Step Fatherhood a Privilege, a Right, or Both?

In contemporary Australian blended families, the role of “Dad number 2” is best understood as a privilege earned through care, respect, and responsible engagement, not as a natural or inviolable right. The legitimacy of the stepfather’s role is not (and morally should not be) solely “bestowed” by the biological father, though the latter’s respect and cooperation can enhance the emotional landscape for all. Instead, the child’s welfare, the quality of relationships, and the collective efforts of all family members are the decisive factors in determining the moral and social validity of the stepfather’s position…

So, it’s a Privilege Earned, not bestowed, I guess if there is Joint Parental Responsibility, it is decided made by both parents.

When there’s joint parental responsibility, both biological parents are morally (and legally) the gatekeepers of who has a meaningful role in the child’s life. That means:

• It’s a shared decision — neither parent can unilaterally impose or exclude a step‑parent’s deeper involvement without the other’s cooperation, unless there are safety concerns or a court order.
• Earning the role comes from showing the child and both parents that you’re safe, supportive, and aligned with the child’s best interests.
• Sustaining the role depends on ongoing goodwill, respect for boundaries, and avoiding undermining either biological parent.

In other words, “Dad number 2” isn’t a right you claim — it’s a position you build over time, and one that both parents have to be comfortable with if they’re sharing parental responsibility.